Why Do You Photograph?

Why do you photograph?

What is there to achieve?

Akershus, Norway. November 2008.

The question will sometimes arise in a photographers mind if he/she takes photography seriously and is openminded enough to take the time to reflect upon their own mind and how we choose to live our lives. It doesn`t matter if you shoot landscapes, wildlife, portraits or even weddings. The question is a universal one and I urge you to think about it. It has more significance to your future as a photographer than you might know. The question itself is more important than finding the answer. To give you an example of how things can exist and develop right in your own mind yet invisible to your conscious thoughts, I will use some of my own experiences as an example.

Since I was a young boy a camera was a part of our family life as a way of documenting events, family portraits, our dog, travels and to bring home photos of an interesting building or beautiful scenery. I am not claiming to be one of those unique, gifted and special children who was “born with a camera in my hands”..because I was definitely not. So, it was nothing fancy or artsy in any way and the only technical expressions we frequently used were…a flash, a film or pressing the button. Just like the regular snap-shooter. At the age of 21 I often borrowed a friends film camera which technically was a whole world apart from the cheaper polaroid, film and disposable cameras I used before. Learning only the necessary functions to produce something of a photograph was quite fun when I had some free time from composing music in my studio in downtown Oslo. I must admit that I was almost obsessed with abstracts. Slowly, I started to get a little more interested than the regular snap-shooter though I have never even been in a darkroom and at that time I had no interest to do so either. It belonged to those middle-aged people who spent their working day in a dim room with a red light bulb, if you know what I mean. Most of the photos were nothing of interest for others than myself and through the years I hung many smaller prints up on my wall. I enjoyed the whole process and was very fond of many of the photographs, even if most of my friends didn`t quite understand what I had photographed, or why, and neither did they express the same interest in them like myself. It didn`t matter, it made me happy anyway. I shot only to please myself and at the same time have a personal room of solitude and reflection in my rather busy life. It had no value other than personal value, it wasn`t meant to impress anyone and when I was finished shooting I forgot all about photography until next time I picked up the camera.

After some time it started to get more serious. I wanted to receive feedback from friends and family. Feedback that addressed the creativity and quality of my photographs. Positive feedback. Slowly, this desire became a part of my thoughts even when I was out shooting or when planning my next shoot…I thought how others might react to the photographs. I wanted better image quality, I wanted my awesomeness and creativity to shine through in my photos. The results became better of course as I spent more time studying art, photography and learning about how a camera actually works. My prayers were heard and I loved the positive feedback. I needed it as a confirmation of my individual creative side, that I had skills. Back then, to be able to sell a photograph never struck my mind. It was not conceivable and therefore I didn`t think of such either. It was only a part of whom I was…a musician that also was capable of producing mediocre photographs. Another step in my personal evolution towards a hopefully successful life as a musician.

27 years old I had lived through quite a many experiences, both good ones and bad ones, and some of them were so unique that most people might not ever experience them. Yet, I saw a repetetive pattern and realized that most of our lives are spent sleeping…even when we are awake. We narrow down the world to what we see around us and that world becomes everything of importance. All we do is for the benefit of our own survival, to achieve status, to be loved, to be admired and somehow make our names something more than just a signature, a row of meaningless letters. Feeling that my life was empty and shallow, I decided to study and practice Buddhism. I wanted to become a Buddhist monk and to give up the desire of material and physical self-indulgement that led nowhere and wished that sometime in the future I could become enlightened. I worked as I never worked before to pay all my debts and sold all my musical equipment to free myself from our material way of living. I spent 6 years in a Buddhist temple, learning and practising. I never played an instrument other than ceremonial drums and never shot a single photograph during those 6 years. None of the monks, or Buddhists, even knew that I was able to photograph at all.

Well, all things come to an end and ultimately my language barriers made me feel that my education and deeper practices came to a halt. To live as a Buddhist monk is not easy and laidback as many people incorrectly thinks. In many ways, it is much harder than living an ordinary life, both physically and mentally. This is a less known fact by non-buddhists due to lack of knowledge and exposure to how life goes on in a Buddhist temple. Nevertheless, the bliss, the joy and enlightenment can not be measured with anything we do in our worldly existence. During those 6 years I came to an understanding of how much our minds controls and creates the world we think we live in and I came much closer to actually knowing myself; what I am and what I am not. What life is, and what life is not. The most liberating period of my life till this day. I am more thankful to my Master and monks than I can express verbally for giving me gift of knowing, the gift of seeing, the strength to keep developing compassion for all living beings.

Things are what they are, yet things are not what they might seem like and everything is impermanent. Nothing can in reality be “mine”. All things will sooner or later disappear from us or we disappear from them. It is not a sad truth…it`s just the nature of things. No photograph can in reality ever be the “best”…not even “good”. It`s all dependent on who is viewing it, no matter what the critics say. The more desire, more the grief. The more you have, the more you have to maintain, protect and worry about. Gandhi once said: “Everything we do is meaningless, but it is extremely important that we do it.” Buddhism has a saying: “You should not own more than 7 things or they will start owning you”. It is very easy to interpret these sayings literally instead of reflecting upon their actual meanings. That is because we see with our eyes and not with our minds.

So, now you think: “What the heck has all this to do with photography??”. Before you close your browser, I assure you it has everything to do with it.

In the beginning we find joy in doing things we like. Then comes the fleeting happiness of positive feedback, awe and status. From there, depression, defensive behavior, jealousy and stubbornness when things don`t go as we planned can be just around the corner. The more we get, the more we want, the more we want the more our obstacles grow rapidly in numbers and it never stops. The illusions take over “your world” and soon you don`t even see what you do or why you do it. It becomes a matter of course. In despair we are willing to do everything to either force our plans through or we go to great lenghts to maintain what we already have achieved. We must race to our destination…whatever that may be. What happened to the joy and peace? Suddenly, it is no longer the source of joy, energy and happiness like when you first started out.

I know of all these feelings, thoughts and desires. As I said in the beginning; I use my own experiences as examples and I know I am not the only one who have gone through this labyrinth of dreams and ambitions. If you still are reading this, I hope you don`t feel you wasted your time. It is easy to understand, but many of us tend to forget everything very soon. It might be tiresome and too much of brain work to look in the mirror without wearing your best dress. It also might turn your world completely upside down to REALLY ponder the questions: Why do you photograph?. What do you want to achive? Will it bring you to your goal? Is your goal gonna make you happy?

A while back I realized that what really matters about photography is the joy. The moments behind the viewfinder, the pondering over a certain composition, waiting for the right light and the experience of being out in the nature, under the stars on a cold, cold night. Rediscover that joy. The recent years my photographs, both digital files and prints, have gradually sold more and more. It is good. Yes, of course, it is good, I admit to that. To sustain our existence we need money. That is a fact. Nothing more, nothing less. Some of my expenses as a photographer are covered by this income. Expenses that still would be the same even if I never sold a single image. Some of my images I`ve seen in magazines, on website designs and prints are hung in peoples homes and in corporate buildings. Photographs that I would still produce even if I never sold a single one of them. I love what I do. I love to witness with my own eyes (and mind..) the fantastic landscapes, the ever-changing light, forests, breaking waves and the intricate system of Mother Nature. The struggles and the cold, sleepless nights, sunburnt lips and aching backs will dominate the time more than the numbers of speechless, awesome moments in nature. But, for those who understand or those who know how I spend my time in the wilderness, the magic moments easily weighs up for all the hard work and is the reason why we keep on doing what we are doing. Even if I was paid for every hike, ski trip etc. I would quit right away, if I didn`t love it. We are more connected to these natural elements than ever and we should respect it, share it and protect it. We are nothing without nature. Remember that the next time you think you have the exclusive right to feel honored and praised due to a stunning wildlife or landscape photograph you made. You are only able to see, to press the shutter and to be creative in processing. Even your camera, computer and print paper are dependent upon a healthy environment. Nothing can compare to the natural complexity, beauty and magic of Mother Earth.

The more joy you attain by doing what you do, the more creative you will be and the resulting peace can be transferred to those around you. You should try to reflect upon these things and use them to see that the path is the ultimate goal. You might realize that the goal is what you do right now…and not what you desire to do in the future. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

This is my view and I do not claim to be right or better than the next. It all depends on the individual, but the questions still remains the same.

Why do you photograph?

What is there to achieve?

Akershus, Norway. November 2008.

Peace and happiness in every breath, in every single heartbeat.

Seung Kye

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